Saturday, December 12, 2009

hurt



以前的我
不管怎样
不管多么的伤心
我都认为,
我无所谓我知道,我还有你。
但是,今天我稍微感觉我快乐起来了,
却让我看见了你的邮件。
我觉得,我真的很伤。
原来,我在你心里不过是高傲的人,让朋友很难相处的人。
原来,我在你心里都是所有问题的祸源。
一直以来,我以为你是唯一一个了解我内心的人。
其实,这只不过是我的一厢情愿。
我真的以为你了解我。
我很想反驳,我很想解释,我想说,很多时候,我没有去惹人。
但是,想想,有用吗?说了又如何?
还不是我自己为自己辩护而已,

我一直以为,陪我淋雨的那个人会是你。
我一直以为,你能了解我的保护色。
我一直以为,你是那个一辈子的朋友。
我一直以为,你是我的守护天使。

我真的很伤心。
我真的不会形容此刻的痛心。

我想我以后都会一个人淋雨。
原来期待很伤,原来真的,真的,
没有期待就没有失望。
原来真的,真的,
期待越高,失望越大,痛心越大。


Wednesday, November 11, 2009

我的挚爱

当!当!当! 让我公布我的挚爱排行榜!



连travel都要带着的Ah Bear!!
感谢劳苦功高,每晚陪我睡觉的他!!


还有


我的女儿小宝!!!
也是傻宝,顽皮宝,懒惰宝,靓妹宝!!
感谢有她的出现!



再来




我的Ah Dear !!!
巧儿,虽然我们不长见面,不过你永远是我的 DEAREST!
谢谢你一直在我的身边!



还有呢?



我的家人
永远都不会离开,嫌弃我的家人
不管怎样,我都会爱你们哦


还有哦?有酱幸福吗?


鸿宏猫!
谢谢你,一直以来绞尽脑汁让我快乐!
谢谢你,一直在我身边!
很幸福有你~

我会加油的!


谢谢老天爷
谢谢您让我拥有他们
很感激您的赐给
谢谢您


Monday, September 14, 2009

好可怕

当一个人彻底的放弃之后
可以那么的可怕
可以那么的无情

我看了好多好多的有意无意的文字
也许关于我
也许不关于我
有好多应该是在骂我的吧

但是
这一次的我
没有生气
没有伤心
只有微微地想了想
冷冷的笑了笑
仿佛不管我的事一样

也不懂事自己想开了
还是累了
又或是我强迫自己不要管那么多呢?

有时更是怀疑自己真的是我的错?
当那么多人指着你说是你的错时你会不会也那么想?

我真的很想回到舞台上
但是当我要踏出一步回去的时候
却让我发现到我不适合在这个团对

有好多人都觉得我没有放时间在培养团队哦
只是为什么我觉得我有呢?
可能我要求太低了吧
不过至少我觉得我可以给的时间,我都给了
随便吧

我该学学我家的猫猫原则
“不要管那么多,不要执著那么多,自己开心就好,管别人做莫?”

也许我已学会了
所以我才可以那么的可怕
这也是我常骂我家猫猫冷血的原因
殊不知,我自己也学上来了
哈哈

不过我仍然相信友谊可以很真,可以很包容,很体谅的
我更相信友谊不用虚伪,不用包装的

Monday, July 13, 2009

好久


好久没有上来了
感觉好陌生

想好好的帮你打扮
却担心会失去了原味

好久没有辩论了
感觉好陌生

想好好的打一场
却发现自己已无能力

好久没有回来了
感觉好陌生

想好好的珍惜大家
却发现里边没有我立足的角落

好久没有胡思乱想了
感觉好久了

想好好的想清楚
却发现自己总是神经质


好累...
到底我什么时候才会雨过天晴?

我相信就算雨后没有彩虹,至少也会是晴天!

************************************************************************

近来在计划养小狗
很想
很想

有点贵,所以不停的在找免费的狗笼.

希望我可以养一只可以让我开心的小狗!

期待!


Wednesday, March 11, 2009

today

i love to view others blog.
why?
dont know...
just feel that maybe i can be more understand them through their blog.
but actually there is still a wall between us even i keep updating with their blog

these few days...i am very unhappy.
why?
because i feel myself so lousy
because i feel myself so useless
because i feel myself cant do anything even i feel so
because of u
because of the feeling that ask me to give up my exam
because of i wish much to join back the so called family but i still cant get the way or even permission for return
because of you all, those who i care very much for

one saying that, the one you most care will hurt you the most.
i think this is correct
no matter in my relationship or my friendship

tired with this all kind of feeling
feel wan to just keep sleeping on the bed
i dont wish to wake up

yesterday found out that actually i still have a cute bear beside me
bear that at least wont argue with me
bear that let me hug tight
bear that accompany me cry for whole night
bear that is always wont complaint that i am lousy
bear that wont complaint that i am too "sticky"

i feel grateful that at least i got the bear beside me
thank u bear~
dont leave me alone ya~
i will try to make sure you wont destroyed by the time
i will always put u into washing machine and let u have a nice bath

Friday, January 23, 2009

1.06am

1.05 am. feel wanna cry.
why?
i cry becoz i knew that what i want but i feel that it is hurt to have it
i wan to cry becoz i knew that i should hardworking but i still keep lying on the bed
i wan to cry becoz i knew that i am degrading, i knew that others are working harder than me , i knew that everyone is put their effort on it but i keep just lazying.
i wan to cry becoz i am unhappy due to u
i wan to cry becoz i feel i am an outsider, i am out of contact

why i feel everyone not beside me ?
why i feel that u all are keeping distance from me ?
am i an alien or monster?

i feel that i wan to cry
but does everything settle after i cry?
i dont think so
then why should i cry ?
cry for expression?
but am i would be happier after i cry ?
i dont think so

tired for this kind of mindset.
hope to change
love the slogan " everything is possible with an willing heart"
really?

what i need to do for first is to build up the willing heart.
2nd is to let myself concentrate in the debate and study not other things
no relationship problems, no friendship problems
all non of my business

CANDY!!! try to be happier
dont try to be bad taste candy...
everyone love sweet candy

jia u for myself
what i can do only myself can save myself
no body can help me