today

i love to view others blog.
why?
dont know...
just feel that maybe i can be more understand them through their blog.
but actually there is still a wall between us even i keep updating with their blog

these few days...i am very unhappy.
why?
because i feel myself so lousy
because i feel myself so useless
because i feel myself cant do anything even i feel so
because of u
because of the feeling that ask me to give up my exam
because of i wish much to join back the so called family but i still cant get the way or even permission for return
because of you all, those who i care very much for

one saying that, the one you most care will hurt you the most.
i think this is correct
no matter in my relationship or my friendship

tired with this all kind of feeling
feel wan to just keep sleeping on the bed
i dont wish to wake up

yesterday found out that actually i still have a cute bear beside me
bear that at least wont argue with me
bear that let me hug tight
bear that accompany me cry for whole night
bear that is always wont complaint that i am lousy
bear that wont complaint that i am too "sticky"

i feel grateful that at least i got the bear beside me
thank u bear~
dont leave me alone ya~
i will try to make sure you wont destroyed by the time
i will always put u into washing machine and let u have a nice bath